Posted by: paulbassler | February 4, 2013

Creating Yourself

Have you ever wondered how you can have a discussion with yourself? If you are one thing, where are the different perspectives coming from? Which one of those perspectives are really you? If you have ever explored the inner you, you must have recognized that there are many parts to you, many characters you have created, many perspectives you have entertained. For me it became very clear when I was young, when my parents would come to school. Standing in my classroom with my parents and my teacher made me feel uncomfortable. After all, I am not the same kid when I am home than when I am in school. I have a persona at school, an image I try to maintain, and it is not the same persona I reflected at home.
As we grow older, we create characters to play the roles of our lives. We create a character for our spouse, a character for our children, a character for our jobs, our friends our enemies. The cool thing is, all those characters we create throughout our lifetime continue to live within us, even though we may have stopped reflecting those characters long ago. And as I mentioned before, it is not uncommon for those characters to clash, to debate one another, to send you conflicting information at a time when you are trying to make a serious decision. So which one of these characters are really you? Actually, they are all you. You are not only the one who is creating the characters, you are the one experiencing those characters. You are the creator and that which experiences your creations.
Though there are similarities between our different characters, the amazing thing to observe is how different they can be. Just think about you the bachelor and you the married man (or woman). You may be honest in both lives, you may value your religion, your politics, your beliefs in right and wrong. But as a bachelor, you may have been willing to bend some of those values, party like there is no tomorrow, avoid commitment, curse like a drunken sailor or do a number of other things you wouldn’t dream of doing as a father and married man. You may have changed your ways once you married and had children, but you still have that “wild” character in you. Perhaps at times when your marriage isn’t going so well, you begin to hear the advice from that wild guy of your past. Thus you can see how the characters within you make up the whole of who you are.
So how do we create those characters? We create them by adopting the thoughts and beliefs that define them. Let’s say your name is Bob and you are married with children. When you were Bob the bachelor, you believed in a different date for every Saturday night. You got involved in the drug culture to help liven up things. You took your first drink early in the morning and didn’t go to sleep until the wee hours of the following day. Then you found the love of your life and started a family. No more drugs, no more alcohol, no more partying to the wee hours. You want to be a good example for your children, and you look into your own upbringing (assuming you had loving parents) and you adopt the beliefs your parents provided as you create yourself as a good parent to your children, and good husband to your wife. Thoughts and beliefs create reality, and by using thoughts and beliefs you define the characters you project.
The great thing to recognize is that all the selves you have created are still within you and available to help you create the character you want to be today and the character you hope to be in the future. So when it is time to make an important decision about today, listen to all your characters, past and present, and reflect those characteristics that have best served you, yielded positive experiences, offered the best results. This is the process of your inner selves helping to create your outer self. If you learn to listen to your inner selves, you may also discover that the depth of your inner selves go far beyond this one lifetime and there is an ocean of knowledge available to you. But that is another story.

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Responses

  1. …and it’s a fascinating story! I really resonate with all you’ve written here. Thank you – a great post.


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